Summer 2009 Fashionhttp://www.sciam.com/blog/60-second-science/post.cfm?id=frightening-brush-with-ebola----a-s-2009-04-03
I'm aware that shark preservationists and Dickinsian workhouses are not yet recognized as the major public health threats they'll turn out to be. However, if you want to be terrified out of your soon-to-be-melted mind about something that is really and truly trying to kill me/you, read the Hot Zone, or allow me to Cliff's Notes it for you below:
A while back, a disease called Ebola started appearing in random African villages and killing 90% of the population faster than you can say "telethon." You may be suffering from Ebola virus if you exhibit the following symptoms: your internal organs melting into a goo, followed by blood leaking out of all your orifices (including your pores!) Hearing rumors of the virus on late-night cable, some helpful white people in spacesuits came for a visit, checked out the scene, and took the Ebola home with them as a nice souvenir. And except for several incidents of secret contamination which scared the living shit out of everyone, there have been no incidents of secret contamination. The end.
But no worries, we now have expensive labs that, although they house the deadliest and most gruesome disease on the planet, are also equipped with the most modern, technologically advanced safety regulations that would never, ever, until three weeks ago, allow some virologist to just up and stab themselves in the arm with a contaminated needle. Seriously? Shouldn't you have been wearing some kind of needle-impenetrable gear or something? Were you sunbathing in there, Unnamed potential destroyer of the human race, who by the way remains unnamed because your fellow researchers, plus anyone who's ever gotten high and read The Hot Zone in 10 increasingly nightmarish hours, would want you incinerated immediately?
Accidental Self-Stabber Doe has apparently caught a lucky break, because 3 weeks later she has no symptoms of Ebola. This is either because she never contracted it, or because the untested vaccine she was injected with a few hours later counteracted the virus. Erring on the side of caution, everyone at the East German Final Solution Center has of course mandated that the virologist in question stay quarantined for at least another- THEY ALREADY RELEASED HER CAUSE SHE SEEMS OKAY??? Did they also send her on a lovely European tour vacation package as a "get well soon" present?? Seriously, they should let her take a few weeks off to recuperate and, you know, swing by every major city in the Western World. And please share your water with her, since hydration is an important component of staying healthy!
Well, as least the Scientific American article, which by the way is posted on a "60 Second Science Blog", since apparently the possibility of all human life on the planet being eradicated deserves one minute of attention, ends on a positive note. It points out that this kind of thing has happened before, in 2004, and look how many Apocolyptic events we had that year: zero. I will take this as a heartening sign that accidental Ebola contamination is just a fact of Ebola research that will continue to occur, and continue to probably not result in Apocolyptic events. Phew.
A while back, a disease called Ebola started appearing in random African villages and killing 90% of the population faster than you can say "telethon." You may be suffering from Ebola virus if you exhibit the following symptoms: your internal organs melting into a goo, followed by blood leaking out of all your orifices (including your pores!) Hearing rumors of the virus on late-night cable, some helpful white people in spacesuits came for a visit, checked out the scene, and took the Ebola home with them as a nice souvenir. And except for several incidents of secret contamination which scared the living shit out of everyone, there have been no incidents of secret contamination. The end.
But no worries, we now have expensive labs that, although they house the deadliest and most gruesome disease on the planet, are also equipped with the most modern, technologically advanced safety regulations that would never, ever, until three weeks ago, allow some virologist to just up and stab themselves in the arm with a contaminated needle. Seriously? Shouldn't you have been wearing some kind of needle-impenetrable gear or something? Were you sunbathing in there, Unnamed potential destroyer of the human race, who by the way remains unnamed because your fellow researchers, plus anyone who's ever gotten high and read The Hot Zone in 10 increasingly nightmarish hours, would want you incinerated immediately?
Accidental Self-Stabber Doe has apparently caught a lucky break, because 3 weeks later she has no symptoms of Ebola. This is either because she never contracted it, or because the untested vaccine she was injected with a few hours later counteracted the virus. Erring on the side of caution, everyone at the East German Final Solution Center has of course mandated that the virologist in question stay quarantined for at least another- THEY ALREADY RELEASED HER CAUSE SHE SEEMS OKAY??? Did they also send her on a lovely European tour vacation package as a "get well soon" present?? Seriously, they should let her take a few weeks off to recuperate and, you know, swing by every major city in the Western World. And please share your water with her, since hydration is an important component of staying healthy!
Well, as least the Scientific American article, which by the way is posted on a "60 Second Science Blog", since apparently the possibility of all human life on the planet being eradicated deserves one minute of attention, ends on a positive note. It points out that this kind of thing has happened before, in 2004, and look how many Apocolyptic events we had that year: zero. I will take this as a heartening sign that accidental Ebola contamination is just a fact of Ebola research that will continue to occur, and continue to probably not result in Apocolyptic events. Phew.
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